Well, when I was a kid, very naughty though, used to think that life would keep on going to be the way it was. Happy in a small family with my parents and only sister.
Looking back I vaguely recall a life deficient but content.
As a kid, I was in a carefree world, undefined but protected by innocence. I always had a point of view but without any bias or corruption. I had my small questions looking for small answers. To rephrase, I had a small world with small problems. I did not know much of things outside and was content with what all were there.
Slowly I grew up (to say so).
This was the phase when I started exploring the world beyond my family and home.
Precisely this was when my mind started imbibing things (intangible) from outside. I started learning how bad can be acceptable and good can be seen as evil. Things started becoming vague. I was no more in a position to differentiate. I started learning the set rules of society. But this was when things went berserk.
I started complaining my inability to define things, structure thought process and be happy with what I do.
Things started becoming undefined.
Now although I try to be careful and define my world, an unprotected and corrupted existence prevails. With time we develop point views, Perceptions, Biases, Affinities for people, things and intangibles.
We define things according to these subconscious emotions. Some say things can be unlearned. I don't know how far this is true but I have never been in a position to do that.
I would like to put it this way-
No matter how hard we try, things are not going to be Utopian. We say that things are changing and with a grin. We say its no more the way it was. Yes this is not. I have so far learnt that change is a constant.
I have never seen anything staying the same so far. Lets not go into 'sun rises in the east'.
Life is never the same and that is the essence of it. Enjoy the changing face of life. Every facet has its own role to play to make it worth living.
This lack of clarity of thought will stay till I find an answer. Till then enjoying my confused internal conflict.
Please ignore the number of Is.
